Questions should be asked
February 4, 2008Today is a culmination of several days of thought. Note that I have not yet reached a conclusion only a desire to voice out a question so horrible.
Should I stay the course?
Is it really worth it?
I have several reasons why I jumped into the great academic adventure known as law school. The first is the possible monetary gain that I might receive after four (4) long years of study. Second, is that being titled as a lawyer also brings with it a great amount of prestige. I have an overabundance of other reasons why it is best to go to law school, these reasons being purely selfish.
Now, it all boils down to this.
Is it really worth it? Is the perceived value equivalent to the actual value? Will law school really bring me the economic gain I so desire? Will I actually be doing good by staying the course and spending more of my parents money?
I have always favored facing reality and dealing with it, on one hand, rather than pursuing an ideal. Ideals are worked at, they are not mere markers in the sky. An ideal, anything or method that is the exemplar of its kind, is formed through meticulous repition and not through pining at something. Now, I want pecuniary gain, lawyering could provide me with that. Therefore I will stay. However, do consider that there are several other factors involved, like my ever increasing need for economic independence and my own urge to fulfill filial realities.
On the other hand, I have never started something that I did not finish. My first few months in school have all been driven by pride. I shall overcome, was a phrase oft emblazoned on my bruised and burning mind during those first few months. It is only my second installment of pain and I am already at the crossroads of quitting. God, help me.
I think that these thoughts are troubling signs of the weeks to come. I recall that when one thinks that he or she no longer desires to be in law school he or she begins a downward spiral too fast and too abrupt to correct. The person in other words becomes kicked out because of entertaining such thoughts as to stay or go in law school.
These things have bothered me over the past few weeks. I shall find a solution, do not worry.
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